lesserjanice

Now that we know this site is going to continue I’m ready to really work at this :)  ( I say this while I’m sitting on the couch watching the Canucks and San Jose’s team play hockey ;)  )  Thank you to those who have volunteered to monitor the site and deal with spammers - I don’t have the time so I truely appreciate you making it possible for us to continue on

Have any others out there been receiveing emails from Dr. Marc about his you tube clips?  I find it so odd that he’ll close the site only to put energy into you tube……..

I received an email from Dr. Marc saying he’s closing down the site.  What will we do?  Anyone know of any other sites that are similar to this one where we can stay connected?

I can’t believe this.

So I stepped on the scales this morning and my 37 lb loss is now only 24 :(  I am now 188 lbs.  But having said that, I know I was focused enough a year ago to make this difference happen so I can do this again :)  Christmas and the early months of the year are not a good time for me so I will have to figure out a way of handling it again but for now I’m going to carry on.

Yesterday I went cycling for an hour and a half and today I met a friend straight from work and we were out again for an hour but at a much faster pace because of my friend!  I can do this, I really can

Tomorrow I get to go see James Blunt in Vancouver so I’ll have to fit in a shorter walk as the evening will be filled with him!

The sun is shining and life is good - I am in control for today at least ;o) and with this journey it really is one day at a time :o)

Hi All,  It’s time for me to get on track (yep I’ve said this before but let me try again ok?)  Since Christmas my motivation has sucked big time.  I seemed to get to a lovely number and feel so good about it that I let myself slide.  Giving in to cravings, not exercising, not being positive in my efforts to be healthier.  Letting work take over again.

I don’t like the way I’m feeling again, I don’t want to stand on the scales anymore, I don’t want to exercise anymore, I don’t make time to come on this site anymore.

IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE!

Now I’m going to return daily and blog for myself even if I dont’ get any responses because writing things down in the form of a journal really helped me when I started this journey last year.  I’m going to read other blogs and respond to them.  I’m going to focus on making sure I get to exercise 4 days out of 7 with the hope that I’ll get back to 5 out of 7 again, the weather is changing so it should get easier as I love to walk and cycle. I’m going to get on the scales every day - now wait a sec - I know some of you will say do this only once a week, but that is how I started on this road to increased weight again.  For me it motivates me to be focused and intentional about the food that I eat if I do this daily and see the numbers in front of me.

I haven’t been a good buddy to those of you I met since I stopped coming to this site, but if I try harder this time around would you help me please?  I can’t seem to do this alone.  It’s not a one sided thing either, I want to be there for you too.

Tomorrow I weigh myself when I wake up and post it - it won’t be pretty but honesty is the best policy.  I’m predicting the high 180’s or low 190’s…….

Thank you to those of you who posted on my last blog.  I was feeling so very stressed.  I had a twitch in my lower left eyelid that would jig several times each single minute that has stopped for the most part now.  (I was tired of people staring at the movement that I had no control over!!!!!)  One of the biggest things causing me stress is over with now - I had no idea it was bothering me so much until it was over!

My eating is under control, I’m eating new meals that require a little less preparation but cost a bit more.  I figured out a way to spend less time cooking (or giving myself reasons not to cook healthy) by getting prepared food from the store.  Healthy prepared food I should say - for instance I bought two kinds of stuffed mushrooms to eat with quinoa for dinner.  It was very yummy and although it would have been cheaper to make them myself I wouldn’t have spent the time doing it so it’s a good enough reason.

I just attended a two day Provincial board meeting and am proud to report that I ate very healthy at lunch, half a veggie focaccia sandwich with veggies (no dip) and fresh fruit.  Yesterday I treated myself to a mini cinnamon bun that was the size of mebbe a loonie - not bad considering it was the afternoon and had been on the table since our breakfast snacks!!!

Yesterday I went to my Taiko-fit drumming class and really enjoyed it again.  Tonight it’s freezing but I’m going to get my runners on and pull my toque down over my ears and walk walk walk.

I’m in control again of the things that can be controlled 

Well, I’ve removed three of those seven pounds that I put on I’m happy to say.  Yeah me!!

I’m not managing my stress very well though. Lots going on at work that is causing me to lose sleep and make my heart pound.  I’m not very good at delegating and it’s the root of my stress I know so I’m going to go back to work and figure out a way to put some of my work on to the others in the team - I can’t do it all myself anymore.  (wow it feels good to write that down).  The other cause is concern for my Sister, she’s going through a tough time, she lives a whole continent away so I can’t just pop in to see her.  The situation is complicated and I won’t bore you with the details of the history but I can’t even jump on a plane to go see her either.  So I’m trying to support her from here, to listen and try to help her in any way I can.  She is sad and scared and being so brave and I’m her big sister a million miles away trying to help, to offer support.  I hurt because she hurts.

I’m sitting here trying to figure out a way to manage myself - I’m no good to anyone if I can’t function properly.  So I will go visit my friends this evening even though I don’t want to (I give myself permission to leave early though) I will go outside and either walk or ride my bike too.  I WILL exercise at least 5 days out of 7.  I find it helpful to walk, if only for the time I’m doing so - but I feel better when I do.  Last week I walked 6 days out of 7 - one day was only 15 minutes because that’s all the time I could fit in to the day, but it was still 15 minutes!

Sorry it’s such a downer - but that’s what life is dealing right now.  I just need to do what I’ve said above and stick to it as much as possible.

I stopped coming to this site after my last blog towards the end of January.  I needed a break from my negative thinking.  I took time to realize that I was grieving about it being January.  I lost my Mum and my good friend both in January of different years and it really hit me this year for some reason.  I needed to think about them and let myself feel sad.  My pushing the thoughts away and being ’strong’ wasn’t so strong and it made me feel really bad about everything in my life.  I was afraid that you would stop responding to my blogs so I stopped before you did - really mature right!

I have decided that enough is enough and I will weigh myself tomorrow and will post the damage!  My lovely tracker will not look so lovely tomorrow but I WILL do it.  I hope that those of you that connected with me in the past will understand and that you haven’t deleted me from your ‘friends’ list!

I have had a week of making excuses to myself for not exercising 5 days out of 7.  Well, I’m sick and tired of the whingeing child inside my head telling me ‘I’m ti-er-ed’  every day.  I’ve been forgetting to take my vitamins, I’ve been allowing myself to decide whether to exercise or not instead of just doing it without thinking.  I’m not sleeping as soundly as I do when I’m exercising regularly.  I’m feeling stressed at work and waking up at 4am thinking about it.  I am disgusted with my negativity.

I can see what I need to do.  I need to exercise somehow without letting myself decide if I want to or not.  It will help with the stress and the sleep.  I also need to set myself more goals.  I have two great ideas I’ve stolen from two others here, one is to give each pound  I want to remove a name.  These people are going to be the ones that have had the power to hurt me in the past. No more - I’m kicking them out!!!!  I’m also going to give myself the gift of a pandora bracelet, probably not the expensive original beads but more affordable ones.  I think the last 15 lbs are going to be difficult so I’m going to really work hard to make it happen.  If I have a bracelet that I like, I can wear it and be reminded why I’m doing this.  So, next weekend I go buy the basic chain, if I get rid of a pound then I’ll get a bead too.  If not, then wearing the empty chain will be a reminder.

So, when I was doing the jogging portion of my Leslie Sansone boot camp DVD this evening I had a wonderful surprise.  The next part of what I’m going to write isn’t pretty to think about but it’s real for me…..  I was mid-jogging session when I realised that although my tummy was jiggling that it didn’t hurt and I didn’t need to hold it when I was bouncing up and down!  It spurs me on to try a tummy and butt video tomorrow evening!!! I’ll let you know how that goes - I hate those kinds of exercises but I want to deal with the doughy tummy flab :)  I also want to look into some Tai Chi if there is any in the evenings as I’m envious of Carolyn in Texas!!!